Midnight Scream Fest!

Totally awesome. Not the actual movie, but the fact that from 6 to 12am I watched all four Screams. Back to frickin’ back. I can still hear the screeching violins in my head. How is it that I feel completely refreshed and revitalized after watching dozens of people get brutally murdered before my eyes? The short answer is that the thriller movie experience is pure catharsis. It releases all the pent up aggression I’m not allowed to express and I get to see people act out my unconscious fantasies (poorly). They ran, they jumped, they screamed, they killed; they exercised my muscles while I sat back and ate popcorn! I don’t have a long answer. That one may be too disturbing to explore… Anywho!

WARNING *extremely tiny spoiler alert*

Scream 4 wasn’t as much of a blast as 1 and 2, partly because the focus wasn’t on the thrill of the in-progress murder, it was on the revealed killer (we know who did it by the end of act 2). They broke a lot of Scream ‘rules’, as expected, and updated the 90s analog murders to digital. I don’t like to see iPhones in my Scream series, but the 10 year update was surprisingly smooth. The movie was a too obvious comment on Generation Y’s isolation and selfishness due to overuse of technology (old writer alert), but it was still hilariously self-referential and hokey. SAVED! So go see Scream 4… or else.

Tags: hayden panettiere, review, scream 4

We teased him a lot, cause we had him on the spot…

This reminds me of when I was little, watching Nick at Night on my bed just before I fell asleep. Sigh… the good ol’ days.

Tags: 1970s, john travolta, welcome back kotter

Appreciating Black Beauty

It seems like learning to appreciate black beauty is kind of like trying to appreciate the taste of liverwurst. No one likes it and if someone admits they have a taste for it there is a resounding ew!! In this world it is the epitome of ugliness. Asking someone to appreciate our physical selves is asking them to reject the fact that blackness is ugly. “See this grotesque thing as beautiful” is essentially what we’re saying. This brings me to my experiences as a brown-skinned girl who tans quite easily…

close but no cigar

I never really had an issue with my skin color when I was a child. Sure, I coveted the long, wavy hair of the mixed girls in my class, but I was caramel skinned. This meant that I wasn’t considered as pretty as the light -skinned girls but I could avoid the name calling that was rampant in elementary school (doo-doo stain, black as night, coal) and was light enough to, if I chose, do the name calling without someone pointing out the embarrassing fact that I was almost as dark as the “coal black” I was making fun of. My mother used barbie commercials and my favorite cartoons to teach me what was behind the light-skinned/dark-skinned obsession (something that, as I said, didn’t seem to hurt me much) and I’d reprimand my friends for saying things like “good hair” (though I’d wanted it as much as any other black girl). Succumbing to internalized racism was a grave sin in my household, and I resisted it as much as a black child could. Even when I tanned to a deep chocolate color every year (something that, to me, was evidence of a good summer), hating my skin tone didn’t come up until I was in ninth grade.

Ninth grade. I was cute. I’d always been cute. Up until now I had never looked at myself in the mirror with such distain and anger. It was early in the summer and I had already gotten my deep tan. I hadn’t even had a chance to to show myself off yet. I cried and complained to my mother that the sun had made my skin tone “uneven”. ”Are you sure that’s why you’re upset?” she asked. She knew what I was going through, but not wanting to embarrass me she suggested I put on sunscreen to “even it out.”   I was embarrassed.  Are you really crying because you’re too dark? How could you? What does mommy think? I was shocked that as socially conscious as I was, I fell prey to this thing that causes black people to hate themselves. I felt like the girls I had chastised all my life. Despite my dignity trying to take over,  boys were more important than shame now. I spent the rest of the summer with my friend SPF 50.

Jump to 2011, California. I’m hard pressed to find a black couple anywhere. Black women are alone, black men are with non-black women. I walk past a black man and he starts looking at his cell phone or suddenly the sky becomes very interesting. I AM AVOIDED. It makes me angry, but I am more hurt. Number one, because he thinks that every black woman is so needy that they want to hop on any and every black guy they see. Number two, because his desire for whiteness is so strong that he doesn’t even want to lock eyes with me. No friendly hello. No nod. Not even a accidental glance. I DON’T EXIST. When he is with a non black woman he buries his face in hers when I walk past as if to say, “Don’t even fucking try it. I got a good thing going here so back up.”

Today, again, I am ashamed of myself. Getting annoyed when the sun seems to follow me in the car, frustrated to find that after a day of outdoor fun I have gotten two shades darker. Feeling this way about blackness makes me sad, but I no longer chastise myself.  I’ve wondered why it seemed that no matter how well I dressed, how pretty my hair looked, and how well I did my makeup, my beauty was not recognized, almost like I was pretty in a dark room. The reason? Black beauty is an oxymoron. Most of the time I am an enlightened black feminist who genuinely loves black skin. However, I realize that demanding I change my mind completely and immediately about something as omnipresent as white beauty standards is asking too much of myself. I try, and I sometimes fail. Loving your physical self is hard even for a woman who was taught all her life that black women are beautiful from her beautiful, black mother. Realizing that you have to stop waiting for black men to approve of you and become the revolution yourself, even if that means being without a partner, is even harder.

Tags: african americans, beauty standards, color complex, racism

Black Love (Of The Lesbian Sort)

I started this post months ago and it was going to be about black lesbians, hence, the photos. Honestly though, I forgot what I was going to say about them. What’s on my heart now are gay black christians, and here are my thoughts…

I don’t know how we do it. No matter how much is stolen from us and how badly we’re beaten, raped, and emotionally abused, miraculously, black love forges on.

But look there! Way in the back! Bearing the weight of all these things, plus ostracism from their own community are gay black people.

I can never imagine how it must feel to believe that you are a walking sin; that a part of who you are, something that you can’t change, is in direct conflict with God’s Law. What a triumph and a relief to discover, and know in your heart, that these things are not true. To know this is to know God’s Love.

Great! We’re over that hurdle, now it’s time to fellowship, right?

Wrong. Most black churches not only condemn homosexuality as a sin, but seem to believe that it is among the worst sins. Separating the holies from the hellbound is sort of a tradition in the Christian church, it hurts me to say . It’s not just that most black Christians believe that homosexuality is a sin, it’s that we have no love in our hearts for the “sinners”. We fear gays like they’re contagious. The further we are away from them, the more “Christian-like” we become. Since Christianity is such a huge part of black American culture, this exclusive attitude not only hurts black gays who want to fellowship, but all gays, since their mothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends likely claim some kind of Christian affiliation.

I have to admit that I was once one of those Christians. Homosexuality was not to be discussed, it was to be condemned, and that was that. There was no close association or friendship with gays unless your aim was to convert them. I don’t know how it happened, but gradually I started seeing gays as, well, human. God opened my heart and I started to learn acceptance. Then one of my good friends came out to me. I cannot describe the amount of love that God poured into my heart that day. He turned mere tolerance into an open-armed embrace. His love and compassion was so powerful that I almost couldn’t contain it. God also let me feel the terrible pain of someone so lovely and good who hated herself because of what other Christians had taught her. She’s still struggling today.

We have to band together as one family and eradicate anything that would separate us. The church is ONE body in Christ. God is LOVE in its purest form, and He makes NO MISTAKES ♥

WEN products on natural hair.

I love WEN hair products!! You can’t imagine how soft they make your hair. The interesting thing is, they work for ALL hair types, and in my opinion, are especially good for African-American hair. WEN “shampoo” is actually a co-wash conditioning cleanser; you use it alone. The $30, 30 day trial (which will last us longer than thirty days because we don’t wash our hair everyday) contains the conditioning cleanser, the moist intensive hair treatment, the hair balm stick (very cool!), the hair creme, and a wooden comb (great for distributing moisture)! I did a blow-out, braid-out with the products and it turned out great. This was my process:

Leave your hair wet when you put the styling creme on. Also, I used the “shampoo” as a leave in. Yep, you can do that…

Blow your hair out just a little. Not so that it’s floppy, but so that it sticks out.

My hair can get very dry, so I made a glycerine mix. I used 25% glycerine and the rest water. I usually put in 40% glycerine but my hair was already really moisturized by the WEN.

I used the balm to braid it.

And here we are! Nice length, REALLY soft.

You can do a lot with it. Even put it up!

Great product!

Tags: blow out, braid out, wen hair products

Hair Update: KCCC with Braid out!

I finally took pictures of my braid-out with Kinky Curly Curling Custard. It turned out REALLY nice. Very curly but with length

Tags: braid out, Kinky curly curling custard, natural hair

These Are A Few Of My Favorite… Albums ♫

Not in any particular order…

Radiohead OK Computer: My favorite album of all time, hands down. Beautiful, otherworldly, absolutely perfect.

Interpol Antics: Incredible post punk sound, a la 2004. Great lyrics, sexy vocals. Nothing is lacking.

Interpol Untitled: This album, their first, made me fall in love with them. I’d never heard this sound before, like mist. It was really exiting.

Belle and Sebastian If You’re Feeling Sinister… So pretty! The sweetest little album you’ll ever own, but not too twee. An album full of happiness and a bit o’ sarcasm.

Alanis Morrissette Jagged Little Pill I am woman, here me roar. The songs on this album are really powerful and so is her voice. This is what feminism was to me at age 10.

The Strokes Is This It? You know that feeling you get when you’re about to go down a big hill on a roller coaster? Yeah. If Lou Reed sang lead for The Beetles, this’d be it.

Blink 182 Enema Of The State One of the first albums I ever purchased. I was ten and loved fart jokes, but I also had good taste in music. That’s what this album is. A quality fart joke.

Erykah Badu Baduizm What can I say? Pure neo-soul heaven. Beautiful and clever lyrics. My mom bought us the tape when I was like 9. We wore that thing out.

Amel Larrieux Infinite Possibilities Beautifully arranged songs with a voice as sweet as honey singing them. I don’t find many sopranos singing neo-soul, and it works well.

Jewel Pieces Of You I got this album for Christmas when I was 11. Folk by a young, sensitive Alaskan. You can’t go wrong! It’s good, trust me

No Doubt Tragic Kingdom My mother and I yelling the words to “Spiderwebs” while she drove me to school in the morning is a vivid and cherished memory of mine. This album is so fun! Ska punk at its best.

Lauryn Hill The Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill This is one of those albums that you can let play all the way through without skipping. Her genius is undeniable. Heartfelt. This is real poetry.

Weezer Weezer (The Blue Album) I was absolutely obsessed with this album. Every song is gold. GOLD, I TELL YOU!!  Rivers whines for most of the album, but he is a skilled whiner. It’s as if emo and power pop had a baby. A glorious, angst ridden baby.

The Mars Volta De-Loused In The Comatorium Omar Rodriguez Lopez’s guitar playing alone makes this album one of my favorites. The production is very heavy handed, but as a psychedelic wall of noise with incomprehensible lyrics, it works. The arrangements are really good.

Danny Elfman Nightmare Before Christmas This soundtrack can never be overrated. Danny Elfman’s voice is like silk and the songs are absolutely fantastic!! A perfect musical.

Donnie McClurkin Live In London And More This man is blessed and his songs reflect that. Smooth, powerful voice singing the best praise songs I’ve heard compiled on one album.

Portishead Dummy Ethereal, sexy, and a bit sinister. Beth Gibbons’ haunting voice and the “Bond film” influenced trip-hop beats make you feel like your in a crime underworld!

Kirk Franklin The Nu Nation Project Don’t act funny, you know you used to jam to some Kirk Franklin. As cheesy as his interjections may be (Come on, yall! Uh huh, what what!), the man is musically gifted, and this album was a huge breakthrough in gospel. Songs of praise and guidance that you could do the bounce to!

Smashing Pumpkins Siamese Dream This album has made me cry. It’s apparent that Billy Corgan has an almost spiritual connection to his music. [Tear inducing song: "Luna"]

Smashing Pumpkins Gish This is their debut album; a really good rough cut of what was to come. For an album by a band that hadn’t fully developed their sound yet, it’s pretty amazing.

Sade The Best Of Sade Sade is such a talented and uncompromising artist. She’s also a tortured soul who’s endured a life of love and loss. Her songs are soothing but sometimes so heart wrenching that they’re almost unbearable. Don’t drink while listening…

Sarah McLachlanSurfacing There are few albums that make me feel at home, and this is one of them. Mommy would put this on when it was “calm down” time. Makes me miss her ♥ The songs are so gracefully written and the production so light that it can put you in a coma-like sleep.

Tags: alanis morrissette, amel larrieux, belle and sebastian, blink 182, danny elfman, donnie mcclurkin, erykah badu, interpol, jewel, kirk franklin, lauryn hill, music reviews, no doubt, portishead, radiohead, sade, sarah mclachlan, smashing pumpkins, the mars volta, the nightmare before christmas, the strokes, weezer